River Room

 
The River Room, practically deserted.

With its gorgeous unobstructed river views, Riverbank State Park would seem the ideal place for a romantic restaurant. That was the premise when Earl Monroe’s Restaurant, named for the former New York Knicks guard, opened a couple of years ago.

The park is located along the Hudson River. It’s built atop a waste treatment plant, though you wouldn’t be immediately aware of that. Designers did a terrific job turning an otherwise desolate stretch of waterfront into a gorgeous public space. Its location in West Harlem might at first seem inaccessible, but it’s only about a ten-minute walk from the 145th Street stop on the #1 train.

Earl Monroe’s drew a reasonably favorable Diner’s Journal piece from Frank Bruni in the Times. Later on, Earl Monroe severed his relationship with the owners, and they renamed the restaurant River Room. It’s on something like the third chef in two years, clearly not a sign of success.

The photo on the website (right) leads you to expect a bustling crowd. The reality (above) is quite a different thing. On a Friday night, the place was practically empty. It’s open only four nights a week. There is live jazz on Friday and Saturday nights (for which there is a $5 surcharge), but it’s not a draw.

The location isn’t the problem. A couple of weeks ago, we visited Hudson River Cafe, also located on the riverbank in Harlem, also offering have live music on Friday nights. It was packed. River Room is actually closer to the subway than Hudson River Cafe, but it’s a ghost town. The reason, I suspect, is that the food just isn’t that good. Frankly, the jazz was mediocre too.

The website describes the cuisine as as “a unique fusion of Southern, Caribbean, Latin and African influences.” It is rare that a chef trying to do so many things will produce a memorable result. Usually, it just seems like the chef can’t make up his mind.

 
Deep-fried oysters (left); Deep-fried calamari (right)

We hadn’t planned it, but both my girlfriend and I ordered deep-fried appetizers: calamari for her ($8), oysters for me ($9, as I recall). The kitchen is skilled with the deep fryer. Breading wasn’t overbearing, nor was either dish overly greasy. The oysters were great,  but the calamari came lukewarm.

Caribbean Crab Cakes (left); Mexican Spiced Duck (right)

My girlfriend’s Caribbean Crab Cakes ($21) seemed to have been deep-fried, and on their own would have been just about perfect. But they came swimming in a gloppy cole slaw that was drowned in mayonaise. Mexican Spiced Duck ($24) seemed neither Mexican nor spicy to me. It was over-cooked, though partly rehabilitated by a nice layer of crisp fat. It came on a bed of braised collard greens, which were almost inedible.

The restaurant has neither a wine list nor a beverage menu, a peculiar omission that almost certainly dampens alcohol sales. When we asked about wine, our server recited a list of two reds and five whites, and steered us to a very respectable Sauvignon Blanc at $34.

I’ve seen a lot of message board posts taking River Room to task for poor service, but we didn’t have that issue at all. Actually, we found our server quite helpful and professional. We felt rather sorry for the guy: with the place so empty, his tip income can’t be very good.

The space is attractive, and though not really apparent from the photos, the seating is quite comfortable. The view takes center stage, and while I know the old adage about restaurants with views, there’s no reason why the food couldn’t be better. With some more focus in the kitchen, this could be one of Manhattan’s truly romantic getaways. But until they bring in Chef #4, I won’t be going back.

River Room (145th Street west of Riverside Drive, at Riverbank State Park, West Harlem)

Food: Mediocre
Service: *
Ambiance: *½
Overall: Can’t Recommend

The Payoff: Rayuela

Today, as expected, Frank Bruni awarded one star to Rayuela. Quite predictably, he found its broad geographic reach a drawback:

It’s a beautiful, fascinating, frustrating place, its cosmetic showiness echoed by dishes that are also all over the map, in terms of their appeal as well as their geographic and ethnic tethers, and in the way they throw ingredient upon ingredient and seasoning after seasoning at you. 

Both Eater and NYJ win $2 on our hypothetical $1 bets.

	Eater		NYJ
Bankroll	$39.50		$36.67
Gain/Loss	+2.00		+2.00
Total	$41.50		$38.67
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Won–Lost	16–4		14–6

Rolling the Dice: Rayuela

Every week, we take our turn with Lady Luck on the BruniBetting odds as posted by Eater. Just for kicks, we track Eater’s bet too, and see who is better at guessing what the unpredictable Bruni will do. We track our sins with an imaginary $1 bet every week.

The Line: Tomorrow, Frank Bruni reviews Rayuela, with its “Estilo Libre Latino” cuisine on the Lower East Side. The Eater oddsmakers have established the action as follows (√√ denotes the Eater bet):

Zero Stars: 4-1
One Star: 2-1 √√
Two Stars: 6-1
Three Stars: 75-1
Four Stars: 25,000-1

The Skinny: I’ve given zero thought to this restaurant. With casual restaurants like Reyuela, the Bruni X-Factor can never be discounted—that is, his willingness to give two stars to practically anything. But I’ve heard nothing to suggest Rayuela is such a restaurant. The rather long menu and wide geographical range of its cuisine will probably work against it.

The Bet: We agree with Eater that Frank Bruni will award one star to Rayuela.

Gilt

Note: This is a review of Gilt under chef Christopher Lee, who left the restaurant at the end of 2008 to take over at Aureole. Gilt closed in late 2012. A new restaurant from French chef Michel Richard is expected to replace it, sometime in 2013.

*

Gilt was one of the most hotly anticipated restaurant openings of the 2005 season. The chef, enfant-terrible Paul Liebrandt, delivered a menu that lived on danger’s edge. It was at times dazzling, and probably exceeded the legal limit for ingredients per square inch. In the Times, Frank Bruni wasn’t wowed, awarding two stars.

I was a little more enthusiastic than Bruni, and awarded three stars. Yet, I can see why Gilt v1.0 ran into problems. Much as I appreciated what Liebrandt was doing, I wasn’t dying to try it again. I suspect others felt the same. And no restaurant can survive solely on first-time visitors. I also suspect that in that neighborhood, and in the same space that once hosted Le Cirque, a more conservative style was called for.

In late 2006, Chris Lee replaced Paul Liebrandt. Prices, though still expensive, were reduced somewhat. The three-course prix fixe that was $92 under Liebrandt now sells for $78. A seven-course tasting menu that was once $160 is now $135, and there is also a five-course tasting menu for $105. Bruni was more impressed with Gilt v2.0, though it received only a “Dining Brief,” not a full re-review.

Last week, I took a friend to Gilt for her birthday dinner. Truth be told, I was planning to order the standard three-course menu so that I could try Lee’s best known dish, the Tuna Wellington. But my friend rather liked the five-course tasting menu line-up ($105), and as it was her evening, that’s what we ordered, along with the sommelier’s wine pairing ($65).

This was the menu:

Wild Japanese Hamachi Sashimi
Watermelon “Margarita”, Cucumber, Jicama, Anise Hyssop Dressing

Soft Shell Blue Crab
Sweet Yellow Corn, Avocado, Lime Crème Fraîche, Spicy Tomato Broth

Crispy Black Bass
Piperade with Chorizo, Red Bliss Potatoes, Garlic Aioli, Saffron Mussel Broth

Smoked Prime Beef Tenderloin
Creamed Corn, Pickled Vegetables, Pancetta, Bourbon Sweet Potatoes

Chocolate Ice Cream Cones
Peanut Butter Chocolate, Mint Chocolate, Banana Brownie

There was a consistent quality level that could almost be called dull. I liked everything we tried, without loving any of it. There wasn’t any “wow,” but there were no duds either. Most tasting menus I’ve tried have a wider variety of extremes, both good and bad. This was a menu that could have offended no one. The smoked tenderloin was particularly good, and that is somewhat unusual at this type of restaurant. The wines, too, seemed to be chosen for their ability to blend with just about any diner’s sensibilities.

The early courses came out a bit too quickly. My friend and I are both fast drinkers, but when the third glass (of six) arrived, we hadn’t yet finished the first or the second. To their credit, when we asked them to slow down, they did. That point aside, the service was as professional and seamless as you’d expect for a restaurant in Gilt’s price range.

While I would have preferred a bit more sense of adventure in Lee’s choices, clearly he was hired as the conservative antidote to Paul Liebrandt, and he appears to have given Gilt’s owners what they wanted.

Gilt (455 Madison Avenue at 50th Street in the Palace Hotel, East Midtown)

Food: ***
Service: ***
Ambiance: ***
Overall: ***

Staghorn Steakhouse

I’m on a mission to try all of the steakhouses in town. The other day, it was Staghorn Steakhouse’s turn.

Before I even tasted a morsel, I was struck by the austere décor. Frank Bruni (on his blog) thought that it was built on-the-cheap. I took it as a considered decision to break out of steakhouse clichés, and I’m glad they did. The blonde wood floors, white walls, and generously spaced tables made the space feel more relaxing than most other restaurants of its kind.

Service, however, was right out of the steakhouse playbook. Bread rolls were cold and stale. When I asked about wines by the glass, the waiter blurted out a list of grapes (merlot, shiraz, cabernet, pinot noir, chianti), but there was no printed list so that you’d know which shiraz they were serving. No other restaurant in its price range would be so cavalier about wines, but nearly all steakhouses seem to do it.

The meat entrées were the usual items, at the usual prices. I ordered the prime bone-in ribeye ($36), which was nicely charred and a perfect medium rare, but not quite as tender as some other ribeyes I’ve enjoyed, and marred by gristle in a couple of spots. I don’t hold the restaurant entirely accountable for this, as these days there are too many buyers chasing not enough beef. The server informed me that the steak was aged on-site for 28 days, which seemed believable.

The seafood menu (though I didn’t sample it) looked a bit better than some other steakhouses, including a Dover Sole and a Grilled Whole Branzini.

The restaurant wasn’t particularly crowded, although on a Thursday night in mid-August I wouldn’t draw any conclusions. However, the location isn’t in its favor. I’ve walked by a number of times, and it never seemed full. As Eater noted, Staghorn probably does good business before Knick and Ranger games. I don’t know if that’s enough to stay in business, but as it’s on my way home, I’ll probably be back.

On the strength of one visit, Staghorn Steakhouse seems a notch below the city’s better steakhouses, but it’s certainly respectable, and its calmer ambiance might be just right for some occasions.

Staghorn Steakhouse (315 W. 36th Street between Eighth and Ninth Avenues, West Midtown)

Food: *
Service: Satisfactory
Ambiance: **
Overall: *

Posto Thin Crust Pizza

 

Yesterday wasn’t much fun, as my girlfriend was at the NYU Hospital for Joint Diseases having shoulder surgery. (She’s doing just fine, but it’s a painful operation.) The day’s lone bright spot was lunch at Posto Thin Crust Pizza.

I can’t compare Posto to other places, as I don’t eat pizza on a regular basis—my waistline just won’t tolerate all those carbs and calories. But if I were a pizza guy, I have to think that Posto would be near the top of my list. A number of other bloggers evidently think so (Mona’s Apple, Lulu Loves Manhattan), and it’s had good write-ups in New York and the Village Voice. The folks at 10best.com rate Posto the city’s 10th-best pizzeria.

The rustic décor festures a tile floor, wooden tables, exposed brick, and a low tin ceiling. There is also outdoor seating in the summertime. Service was just fine, but I was there at an odd hour, so it wasn’t very busy. They deliver anywhere between Fifth Avenue and the East River, from 14th–26th Streets. The same team also own Gruppo on Avenue B between 11th and 12th Streets, and Vezzo at 31st & Lex, both with substantially the same menu.

The main event here is thin-crust pizza, which means crust the thickness and crispness of a Ritz cracker. You can start with a 9-inch ($6) or 16-inch pie ($12) and choose your toppings ($1.00–2.50 each for the smaller size, $2–5 for the larger). Or, you can choose from one of the special house pies ($9–11 in the small size, $18–22 in the large). There are also salads and appetizers ($5–12). Iced tea and lemonade are home-made, and I counted around a dozen wines by the glass.

I chose a pizza called The Big Pineapple ($10 in the personal size), which comes with marinara sauce & cheese, fresh pineapples, fresh tomatoes, smoked bacon, and fresh basil. It had a fresh, lively taste, and thanks to the thin crust, I didn’t feel over-stuffed after I’d finished it. The thin-crust pizza cooks quickly too, so I wasn’t kept waiting for very long.

Posto is pretty far away from my usual stomping grounds, but I’d gladly go back if I’m ever in the neighborhood again.

Posto (310 Second Avenue at 18th Street, Gramercy/Stuyvesant Square)

Food: ★
Service: ★
Ambiance: ★
Overall: ★

Frank Bruni and the Fine Dining Deathwatch, Part 2

Six months ago, I wrote about the Fine Dining Deathwatch since Frank Bruni became the New York Times restaurant critic. I noted Bruni’s overwhelming bias against traditional “fine dining” restaurants, unless they happen to be Italian or Italian-influenced. Over and over again, you find in his reviews that he is actually offended by restaurants that pamper him. He not only doesn’t give credit for high-end service; he actually penalizes it.

Later on, I posted about Frank’s repeated use of the word “fussy” in his reviews to describe traditional formal service. He never means it as a compliment. This must weigh on restauranteurs and investors as they plan new openings. The presence of tablecloths, all by itself, costs you half-a-star before Frank even walks in the door. Some restaurants can overcome that handicap, but it is difficult.

As we approach another fall season, it’s worth taking a look at the year just past. Between September 2006 and August 2007, Frank Bruni awarded three stars to the following restaurants:

Felidia
L’Atelier de Joël Robuchon
Picholine
Eleven Madison Park
Bar Room at the Modern
Esca
Gramercy Tavern
Café Boulud

All but L’Atelier de Joël Robuchon were re-reviews. Hence, in the last year, only one new restaurant in New York City earned three stars. (None earned four.) Leonard Kim, the star-system historian over at eGullet, confirmed that this has not happened since 1995–96, when Ruth Reichl handed out eleven three-star reviews, ten of which were re-reviews.

In Bruni’s defense, I cannot think of another restaurant that opened in the last year that clearly deserved the third star. It so happens that I awarded three stars to Gordon Ramsay at the London and Anthos, but I can’t definitively say that Bruni got them wrong. There were plenty of critics that disliked Gordon Ramsay, and my visit to Anthos came after it had been open a while, and perhaps some of the early flubs had been worked out. So, it may simply be that this was an unusually lean year for high-end restaurants.

There’s no question that dining has become much more informal than it used to be. Frank Bruni never misses an opportunity to remind us of the fact. But many of the city’s high-end restaurants are regularly booked full, which suggests there remains untapped demand for that kind of luxury. Restauranteurs may be leery of making a big commitment, knowing that as the size of the investment goes up, the room for error goes down. Are they giving the people what they want? Or, do they feel that the city’s two main critics (Bruni and New York’s Adam Platt) are not going to give that kind of restaurant a fair shake—even when it’s done well.

But ironically, even among the casual restaurants that Bruni loves, the only new restaurant that merited three stars was a chain restaurant imported from France.

The Payoff: Café Boulud

Today, as expected, Frank Bruni awarded three stars to Café Boulud.

As I predicted, Bruni included a backhanded slap at Boulud’s flagship, the four-star Daniel, saying that Café Boulud is “the most consistently enjoyable” of the chef’s restaurants. Daniel is the only four-star restaurant in New York that Bruni has not yet reviewed. The comment certainly suggests that it might not retain its lofty perch when Bruni finally gets around to it. Indeed, I suspect the only reason he hasn’t done so is that he has no other restaurant to replace it with, and he doesn’t want the four-star club to dwindle below its current five members.

The review was one of the few times Bruni has been able to visit this type of restaurant without bitching about the elegant service that top-tier restaurants offer. Unlike most people, Frank is actually offended when you pamper him. But the best he could say, was that Café Boulud is “no less fun to visit in this informal dining era.” Though that’s a compliment coming from Frank, I doubt the Boulud empire will be pulling it as a teaser quote.

And isn’t it just typical that it was a pasta dish that sealed Frank’s opinion that Café Boulud still deserved the three stars it earned from Ruth Reichl?

Both Eater and NYJ win $3 on our hypothetical $1 bets.

	Eater		NYJ
Bankroll	$36.60		$33.67
Gain/Loss	+3.00		+3.00
Total	$39.50		$36.67
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Won–Lost	15–4		13–6

Rolling the Dice: Café Boulud

Every week, we take our turn with Lady Luck on the BruniBetting odds as posted by Eater. Just for kicks, we track Eater’s bet too, and see who is better at guessing what the unpredictable Bruni will do. We track our sins with an imaginary $1 bet every week.

The Line: Tomorrow, Frank Bruni sharpens his knives at Café Boulud. Eater’s official odds are as follows (√√ denotes the Eater bet):

Zero Stars: 8-1
One Star: 7-1
Two Stars: 4-1
Three Stars: 3-1 √√
Four Stars: 5,000-1

The Skinny: “Rolling the Dice” returns this week after a two-month hiatus. Sorry to say, we don’t have much by way of original analysis. As Eater noted, Frank Bruni is already on record with the view that Café Boulud is the most enjoyable of Daniel Boulud’s three New York restaurants. I wasn’t enraptured when I visited last year, but a friend whose opinion I respect assured me it must have been an off-night.

I also agree with Eater that CB has flown under the radar in recent years, and there’s really no reliable way of telling whether the new chef, Bertrand Chemel, has his act together. And there is always Bruni’s well known aversion to French cooking. But I have to agree that three stars is the most likely outcome, given Bruni’s already-documented affection for the place.

The Bet: We agree with Eater that Frank Bruni will award three stars to Café Boulud. Regardless of the rating, look for Bruni to include a back-handed slap at Daniel, the only one of the four-star restaurants he has yet to review.

Bette

 

Note: Bette closed in June 2008.

*

There is no particular reason to visit Bette. Proprietress Amy Sacco, who had made her name in the nightclub industry, tried to transfer her success to a restaurant, which she named after her mother—the name rhymes with “sweaty.”

That was two years ago, when Bette was a hot ticket. Today, you can get a table anytime you want. Bette’s proverbial fifteen minutes are up. We were half-an-hour late, but it might have been half-a-day. It really didn’t matter. On a Saturday night in August, we nearly had the place to ourselves. I suppose Amy and her friends had decamped  to the Hamptons.

In the New York Times, Frank Bruni awarded a remarkably generous one star, but he admitted it was mostly about the celebrity scene. “Bette clearly means to make a splash, its food isn’t remotely splashy.” He got that right.

The kitchen has gotten lazy in its old age. The whole menu was something like half-a-dozen appetizers and an equal number of entrées—all rather ordinary stuff. Frank Bruni found “a bevy of interesting selections” on the wine list, but that list has now shrunk to about two pages. For the record, we settled on a sangria-like rosé (label below), at a budget-friendly $30.

 
Asparagus salad (left); Pork chop (right)

An Asparagus Salad ($12) was totally forgettable, as was a Pork Chop ($26). My girlfriend had the same reaction to a Hamachi Ceviche ($16) and Short Ribs ($25). While all competently prepared and unobjectionable, nothing at Bette really rose above the ordinary.

The service hit two of my pet peeves. After we sat down, the server asked, “Will you be having bottled watered this evening?” It’s a minor point, but do they really think you’ll forget that tap water is an option?

Bread rolls had no doubt been baked the night before, but they were served without separate plates or knives. After the appetizer plates were cleared, the server had to come along and clear up all the crumbs. 

There was nothing particularly bad about Bette, but when you’re spending almost $120 for dinner (including tax, before tip), you want to taste at least something that goes beyond the ordinary, and Bette didn’t have it.

Bette (461 W. 23rd Street just east of Tenth Avenue, Chelsea)

Food: Satisfactory
Service: Satisfactory
Ambiance: *
Overall: Satisfactory