Rolling the Dice: Bouley

The Line: Tomorrow, Frank Bruni reviews the latest reboot of Bouley, the TriBeCa standout and former four-star-club member. The Eater oddsmakers have set the action as follows (√√ denotes the Eater bet):

Zero Stars: 15,000-1
One Star: 2,000-1
Two Stars: 5-1
Three Stars: 3-1 √√
Four Stars: 20-1

The Background: Bouley is a restaurant with a track record, now in its third TriBeCa location. After leaving Montrachet (where he had earned three stars from Bryan Miller in June 1985), chef David Bouley struck out on his own, in the space that is now Scalini Fedeli. It was a rocky opening, with Miller awarding two stars in November 1987. By August 1990, Bouley had his act together, and Miller awarded four stars.

The restaurant closed in 1996, as the chef announced big plans (with then-partner Warner LeRoy) for half-a-dozen establishments. The first of these, Bouley Bakery—a slimmed-down version of the original restaurant—opened with an enthusiastic three stars from Ruth Reichl in December 1997.

The flagship was supposed to re-appear somewhere else, grander than ever, but the chef split with LeRoy, and most of the dream was temporarily shelved. Instead, Bouley upgraded the bakery space, which William Grimes hailed with four stars in September 1999. (The word “Bakery” was dropped from the name later on, with no other changes to the concept that I’m aware of.)

By June 2004, Frank Bruni concluded that Bouley had lost its luster, quickly demoting it to three stars in the first month of his tenure as restaurant critic:

I had the sense of being at a party to which I had come too late, or at which I had stayed too long. Of watching the awkward ebb of the excitement rather than the jolt itself. The electricity had dimmed, the crowd seemingly changed and the polish worn off.

It was not one of Bruni’s better reviews, including unsubstantiated allegations of nefarious doings in the post-9/11 era, but I think he got the rating right. Among my multiple visits to Bouley, all of them after the Bruni review, I was always happy, but not quite persuaded that it was a four-star restaurant.

Last year, the chef finally started making good on the plans first announced in 1996. I won’t rehash the details (see prior posts 1, 2), but he has something like seven TriBeCa projects either operating or under construction, including a lavish reboot of the original Bouley, in a space that makes a French château look humble. It’s that restaurant that Frank Bruni reviews tomorrow.

The Skinny: It has been 221 weeks since Frank Bruni gave four stars to a restaurant that did not have them already—the longest such drought in Times history. (His four-star review for the remodeled Daniel two months ago doesn’t count, as it re-affirmed the existing rating.) Bouley is the first restaurant in quite some time that is a serious threat to break the string.

The recession has curbed my dining habits, so I’ve not yet been to the new Bouley, except once briefly, for a cocktail. But my sense is that when a four-star restaurant comes along, critics and foodies start screaming from the rafters, “You have got to eat here.” There have been no such screams for the new Bouley. Nearly every review I’ve read suggests that the move across the street is an improvement, but with significant qualifications.

Bouley (the chef) is said to be in the kitchen most nights. Nevertheless, I have to wonder how it could have his full attention, given the number of projects he is trying to manage at once. It is hard enough to launch a four-star restaurant when it’s your only pursuit, much less when it’s one of seven. Other four-star chefs have branched out, but not at the same time as their new flagship restaurant was in its teething stages.

During Bruni’s tenure, there have been only two restaurants awarded four stars that didn’t have them already, Per Se and Masa. I cannot imagine Bruni saying that Bouley is as good as those two stand-outs. In late 2008, Corton received one of the most enthusiastic three-star reviews of Bruni’s tenure. I cannot imagine Bruni saying that Bouley is better than Corton.

In short, my guess is that Bruni will note an improvement, but that he is not quite ready to award four stars.

The Bet: We are betting that Frank Bruni will award three stars to the new Bouley.

The Payoff: Kefi

Yesterday, Frank Bruni dropped a star on the underwhelming Kefi. No review better demonstrates the debasement of the New York Times star system. One star is supposed to mean “good,” but in Frank’s hands it usually means “mediocre”:

A friend and frequent dining companion often complains of palate fatigue, that deadening of all response when too many of a restaurant’s dishes have too little nuance and a surfeit of the same bold — even bullying — notes.

During some meals at Kefi, a madly popular Greek restaurant on the Upper West Side, what I experienced was more like palate mononucleosis… .

The all-Greek wine list is as price-sensitive as the food, and the atmosphere is pleasant, if Greek-restaurant predictable: a white-and-blue color scheme, decorative ceramics, that sort of thing. Try not to sit at a table by the bar, where the human traffic is most snarled.

And know that the scale and manner of the cooking Mr. Psilakis is doing here differ from what he’s done elsewhere around town — or what he did at the original Kefi. There, many of the same dishes were executed with more precision and restraint. It was a lesser stage, but it was a greater one.ed to mean “good,” but Bruni constantly gives it out to mediocre places:

We and Eater both took the one-star bet, winning $4 on our hypothetical one-dollar bets.

	Eater		NYJ
Bankroll	$116.50		$137.67
Gain/Loss	+4.00		+4.00
Total	$120.50		$141.67
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Won–Lost	54–25		56–23

Rolling the Dice: Kefi

The Line: Tomorrow, Frank Bruni reviews Kefi, the new Michael Psilakis/Donatella Arpaia Greek dining barn on the Upper West Side. The Eater oddsmakers have set the action as follows (√√ denotes the Eater bet):

Zero Stars: 20-1
One Star: 4-1 √√
Two Stars: 3-1
Three Stars: 55-1
Four Stars: 50,000-1

The Skinny: Frank Bruni clearly has a hard-on for this place. For a guy who has never taken much to blogging, his breathless panting over the new Kefi has been remarkable. And he really loves Michael Psilakis, having given him two stars on four occasions (Onera, Dona, Anthos, and Mia Dona). We are on vacation this week, so we are too lazy to insert links to those reviews, so you’ll have to google them yourself.

Anyhow, you can bet that Bruni walked into Kefi wanting desperately to love it. Nevertheless, we agree with Eater that to the extent there are “rules” for getting two stars, Kefi breaks an awful lot of them. Bruni has been less inclined to follow those unwritten rules than his predecessors, but he tends to break them for earnest “family” places, not for the kind of assembly-line food served at Kefi.

I would add that we hated Kefi, though that is not influencing our judgment one bit.

Eater mentions the Ssäm Bar exception, where there are currently three NYT stars, despite a zero-star atmosphere and one-star service. Despite our occasional carping, we do know Ssäm Bar. Ssäm Bar is a friend of ours. Kefi, you are no Ssäm Bar. We suspect, or at least hope, that Bruni will recognize that Kefi is not going to feature the kind of constant innovation that could justify a two or three-star rating for a path-breaking restaurant like Ssäm Bar. The two just aren’t comparable.

The Bet: We agree with Eater that Frank Bruni will award one star to Kefi.

The Payoff: 10 Downing

Yesterday, a bored and sloppy Frank Bruni awarded the expected two stars to 10 Downing.

We don’t object to the rating. But why did he wait till the 21st paragraph of the review to talk about the food the restaurant is now serving? And why devote the first three paragraphs to innuendo about legal charges that were never proven and subsequently dropped? Is that what Times readers interested in the restaurant needed to know?

What about this: “Mr. Neroni, by many reports, wasn’t the owners’ first choice to run the kitchen … ?” Who exactly reported that? This is The New York Times. Either cite a legitimate source, or don’t print the rumor.

The review is slapdash in other ways. There are three one-sentence paragraphs that begin with the word “And.” You’d think the guy would know how to write a proper paragraph by now. The restaurant is no doubt happy with its two stars, while disgusted with the way they were presented.

We and Eater both took the two-star odds, and earn $4 on our hypothetical one-dollar bets.

	Eater		NYJ
Bankroll	$112.50		$133.67
Gain/Loss	+4.00		+4.00
Total	$116.50		$137.67
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Won–Lost	53–25		55–23

Rolling the Dice: 10 Downing

The Line: Tomorrow, Frank Bruni reviews Jason Neroni’s comeback at 10 Downing. The Eater oddsmakers have set the action as follows (√√ denotes the Eater bet):

Zero Stars: 8-1
One Star: 3-1
Two Stars: 4-1 √√
Three Stars: 55-1
Four Stars: 20,000-1

The Skinny: The range of outcomes here is bounded by Bruni’s past reviews of Neroni’s work: two stars at 71 Clinton, a singleton at the short-lived Porchetta. We found 10 Downing promising when we visited in mid-December. We weren’t quite ready to buy into two stars, but we certainly thought it could be headed in that direction.

The restaurant has been open for four months. That’s longer than Bruni normally waits. We’re guessing he was on the fence between one and two stars, and wanted to see how Neroni’s performance here would mature.

The Bet: This has been the year of the one-star restaurant. We think Bruni has been itching to find a place to get excited about. Perhaps 10 Downing is that place. We agree with Eater that Frank Bruni will award two stars to 10 Downing.

The Payoff: L'Artusi

Today, as expected, Frank Bruni “awarded” — we use the term loosely — one star to L’Artusi, a restaurant that no doubt considered itself worthy of two:

At L’Artusi, named for a renowned Italian cookbook writer, Mr. Thompson and his business partner, Joe Campanale, have moved well beyond the bruschetta. They have gone not only bigger — with nearly 115 seats, L’Artusi is more than twice the size of dell’Anima — but also bolder, and the uneven results are a lesson in overextension.

If they turned a more skeptical eye to some of Mr. Thompson’s inventions, edited the menu to about two-thirds its current length and focused harder on the execution of what remained, they’d have an excellent restaurant. As it is, they have a fitfully enjoyable one.

We and Eater both took the one-star odds, and earn $3 on our hypothetical one-dollar bets.

	Eater		NYJ
Bankroll	$109.50		$130.67
Gain/Loss	+3.00		+3.00
Total	$112.50		$133.67
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Won–Lost	52–25		54–23

Rolling the Dice: L'Artusi

The Line: Tomorrow, Frank Bruni reviews L’Artusi, the big-box follow-up to Dell’Anima. The Eater oddsmakers have set the action as follows (√√ denotes the Eater bet):

Zero Stars: 8-1
One Star: 3-1 √√
Two Stars: 5-1
Three Stars: 75-1
Four Stars: 20,000-1

The Skinny: Critics haven’t been impressed with L’Artusi. In New York, Adam Platt said it “underdelivers” and awarded one measly star. In TONY, Jay Cheshes found it “hit-and-miss” while awarding three of six stars. One can never discount the possibility of a two-star rating when Frank Bruni reviews an Italian restaurant, but he seldom praises a restaurant multiple critics have panned.

The Bet: We agree with Eater that Frank Bruni will award one star to L’Artusi.

The Payoff: Buttermilk Channel

As expected, Frank Bruni awarded one star to Buttermilk Channel today, finding it…

a restaurant of real standards, noteworthy ambition and uncommon slavishness to trends. It’s laudable and predictable in equal measures. And it was packed every time I went.

Unfortunately:

Although one in three dishes widely misses its mark and the restaurant’s reach frequently exceeds its grasp, there’s the possibility of a terrific meal. There’s the probability of a pleasant one.

Among the charcuterie items, a few “are like earnest but clumsy culinary-school first attempts.” And how, exactly, would Frank know that?

No matter. Both Eater and I win $1 at even money on our hypothetical one-dollar bets.

	Eater		NYJ
Bankroll	$108.50		$129.67
Gain/Loss	+1.00		+1.00
Total	$109.50		$130.67
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Won–Lost	51–25		53–23

Rolling the Dice: Buttermilk Channel

The Line: Tomorrow, Frank Bruni rides the subway to Brooklyn for a review of Buttermilk Channel. The Eater oddsmakers have set the action as follows (√√ denotes the Eater bet):

Zero Stars: 15-1
One Star: EVEN √√
Two Stars: 7-1
Three Stars: 144-1
Four Stars: 20,736-1

The Skinny: We haven’t paid any attention to Buttermilk Channel, but we subscribe to the theory that two-star restaurants don’t hide in plain sight. The very obscurity of this place makes us doubtful that we’ll see two stars tomorrow. For those looking for contrary evidence, Restaurant Girl’s improbable three-star review gives cold comfort.

The Bet: We agree with Eater that Frank Bruni will award one star to Buttermilk Channel.

The Payoff: Shang

We didn’t get a chance to post our BruniBet this week. The Eater odds weren’t yet announced when I left work, and when I got home Frank’s one-spot for Shang was already posted—much earlier in the evening than usual.

For what it’s worth, I had planned to make the same one-star bet that Eater did, not because I agree with it, but because it was the safest guess. Bruni is a follower, and when the critics before him weigh in with a collective “MEH,” he usually does too.

Indeed, for the first time I can remember, he came out and admitted that he read his fellow-critics’ reviews before writing his own:

The dining room is relatively understated, apart from a cluster of circular orange banquettes and a few peachish lighting fixtures so oddly shaped and unusually textured that my fellow critics have outdone themselves with metaphors, which I’d be a fool to try to improve upon. “Papier-mâché breasts” are what came to one reviewer’s mind. “Rumpled old stockings” popped into another’s. Split the difference and you’ve got the picture. [See photo above.]

We liked Shang a lot better than Frank did, but I certainly think it was churlish to blame the restaurant for a staircase and a bar that it does not control. Doesn’t Frank realize this is a hotel?