JoeDoe
Monday, June 22, 2009 at 03:07PM 
Note: The chef’s response to this review and my response to him are in the comments. My follow-up comments are here.
I’m going to go out on a limb, and guess that when Joe Dobias was trying to pick a catchy name for his East Village restaurant, he didn’t hire any publicity or marketing firms for advice. That might explain how he came up with JoeDoe, a name that conveys—nothing in particular.
Of course, “Momofuku” conveyed nothing in particular before David Chang turned it into a household word, but usually it’s better to choose a name that conveys at least something about the kind of food you’re trying to serve. We can’t all be David Chang.
Dobias describes his cuisine as “Aggressive American,” whatever that means. He certainly has a way with words when it comes to naming his dishes. During Passover season, he served liver and bacon on challah, calling it “The Conflicted Jew.” Other examples on a recent menu include “Some Really Nice Butt” and “Duck Egg is King.”
He works in a tiny slip of a space scarcely bigger than a bathroom (above right). There is a prep kitchen downstairs, and runners bring stuff in throughout the evening, but Dobias seems to do all the cooking and plating by himself.
The restaurant has just seven tables and six bar stools, which is probably as much as Dobias can handle when it is full—if it ever is. On a Friday evening, just one other table was occupied.
The menu is uncomplicated, with just half-a-dozen appetizers ($9–12) and as many entrées ($19–27). There are also several bar snacks at about $4 each, but during happy hour they’re free. We had the Mutton Meatballs (left), which were the best thing we had all evening. A comped order of fried chickpeas was excellent.
The beverage menu offers an array of house cocktails and “prepared beers,” the latter being mixed drinks made with beer instead of spirits. I lubricated my meal with a couple of these, as I don’t recall seeing them in any other restaurant, and the wine list was minimal.
I loved the Hipster BBQ (Dale’s Pale Ale, organic vodka, seasoned salt, fresh lime and zest), but I didn’t care for the somewhat bitter taste of Alice in JoeDoe Land (Smuttynose ale, absinthe, gingered kumquat, chamomile tea).
As we sat down for dinner, the staff pointed out a rule prohibiting photography, which purportedly annoys the other guests—notwithstanding that there weren’t any, aside from a loving couple at the opposite end of the room who, we are sure, did not notice our non-flash camera. So we are unable to show you the photos of what we ate, which looked a lot better than it tasted.
A Veev Cured Scallop ($12) made a dull impression. Veev (a brand of vodka) contributed little, other than its fancy name. A schmear of jalapeno mayo was more than the scallop needed, but not enough to spread on the accompanying crisp bread. A salad of cured pork on lukewarm cooked green vegetables also misfired.
Pork belly, a posted special, was over-cooked and dry. “Duck, duck, hock,” consisting of tiny gnocchi, a duck egg, and I believe duck ham, was at least correctly prepared, though I would be in no rush to order it again. (The website says that the third ingredient is rock shrimp, but I am pretty sure that is not what we had.)
On Eater.com, editor Amanda Kludt described JoeDoe as “a restaurant that means well,” but found it “disappointing and somewhat bafflingly presented.” That’s about right. It’s obvious that Dobias didn’t open this restaurant to get rich, and he certainly doesn’t take the easy way out. Its quirky offerings often sound interesting, but when the plates arrive the payoff isn’t there.
In a neighborhood that teems with compelling dining options, it’s hard to take JoeDoe seriously. I’d stop in for a cocktail and a snack; then head elsewhere.
JoeDoe (45 E. 1st Street between First & Second Avenues, East Village)
Food: mediocre
Service: good
Ambiance: pleasant
Overall: disappointing
Reader Comments (55)
So glad I read this - my boss has eaten at JoeDoe and I was thinking of trying it, but no matter WHAT the OP said about the food, the chef's response (which, Joe, I hope you realize makes you look like a fool) has me convinced that he is not someone to whom I wish to pay my hard-earned money. There's no need for the defensive negativity he's shown here. Thanks to Eater for picking up the story.
Joe, Joe, Joe. What were you thinking?!!? Dude, grab a glove and get in the game. The restaurant business is about treating everyone well, critics, baldmen, bloggers, old people. It's what we do. It's what separates the Jean-Georges and Daniels--well, from the Joes. Seriously, you have to stop responding, your doing yourself a huge amount of damage. I know I'll never eat at your little bitter, acrid restaurette.
You dumbass Joe, you just killed yourself.
I would have tried this restaurant, even after reading the initial review. The offerings sound cute and quirky, and if it was reasonably priced, I would have factored the wit of the chef into it. But the chefs posts show that he's foolish and resentful. I am short, middle aged and bald. Why would I patronize someone who blatantly insults people for fitting that description? Had me, lost me. What a schmuck.
Oh yes, almost forgot. Good on eater.com for spotlighting this. Introduced simultaneously to another thoughtful blogger and megaputz whose failure to comprehend grace and hospitality will doom his restaurant (and probably his career as a restaurateur).
all you smart little shitheads give the f....g guy a break. restaurants used to be for filling your stomach but for you, the super smart people, it seams to be an ego inflating vice. and joe, you sounds like a complete moron, get out of the kitchen and go sell knives sets on street corner
@etonic: Sure.
Chef: Open a restuarant, you open the door to criticism. How you respond personally and professionally is what defines you as a culinary professional. Rather than make an effort to improve, you go on a useless tirade that shows your immaturity and lack of professional skills. even some of the best get ripped every once in a while,and they rebound, learn, correct and march on. They don't engage in a two-bit war with others on the internet, calling out the reviewer's skills and experience. They d*mn sure don't insult them.
You reap what you sow. Hope your crappy dump can survive, but I think you'd do better to move it to Times Square, you'll have a lot more first time customer potential, and won't have to worry about jerking them off with pretentious servers and crapy food, because they won't blog about you. Those of us who live and work in NYC, we have don't have the luxury. Me, I elect to vote with my feet, and I did. I won't be back at all - prior to your infantile rant, I might have been, but you showed your immaturity and lack of class when you went on the offensive.
It's a shame you didn't channel all the energy you wasted on this blog and comment section into your food.
Joe,
Who are you to tell someone what they should like or dislike? Everyone is entitled to an opinion. What are you doing, reading these blogs, if you simply don't care? If you don't want the opinion of people who love to eat and check out new restaurants, I suppose you don't want them as customers either. A negative or lukewarm review from a food blogger would never be enough to deter me from trying a new restaurant at least once, but YOUR hostile comments have certainly discouraged me (and many others) from EVER visiting your restaurant or eating your food.
If the author of this blog does not want JoeDoe or anyone to comment on his blogpost, then take down the comment section. JoeDoe has every right to defend his very hard work. I can only imagine how frustrating it is to see someone come in and eat their entire meal, ignore the request of the waiter and menu and then go on to write a negative review which unfortunately has an effect on business.
Having worked in the restaurant business for 30 years (in virtually every role up to owner), I can assure you that you have two options at this point. First, be gracious - always gracious - in your responses; or second, stop responding to negative reviews. This means now and in the future, always. You can not win with non-gracious responses, but you can certainly lose. You are losing badly right now.
what Advisor said is spot on.
Brian, obviously the blogger has no problem with response from the chef - and he handled the chef's rants and personal attacks quite graciously, i thikn.
@Brian, I did not ignore the request of the waiter. To the contrary, I complied with it.
I doubt that my review would have attracted much attention, before Chef Joe responded the way he did. Yeah, to a tiny, immeasurable extent every dissatisfied customer has an effect on business, because that customer probably won’t be back, and they’ll probably tell their friends. But Chef Joe has served plenty of people since he opened a year ago. One blog post does not matter, unless of course it is corroborated by many others.
wow, Joe has major issues. The funny thing is, I wanted to go try it out for lunch. It looked pretty tasty, but he is such a prick I could bare to drop a dime at that place.....Joe, don't act like an ass u represent ur business and ur not doing a very good job of it. Focus on making ur cooking better than attacking some blogger......
Joe and Jill have a fairly solid restaurant in the East Village that they are clearly vested in emotionally and financially. I think it's unfortunate the way they initially handled themselves here, however, it would be disingenuous not to recognize the fickle nature of online writing. Gossip sites such as Eater "report" borderline libel and can truly affect the outcome of small restaurant's bottom line. So too can major reviews, however to be judged so harshly by a blogger is clearly hard to stomache for the J-named duo. This is not the first comical response from restaurant owners we have gotten, restaurateurs such as Jean-Georges and Chodorow have pulled ads out against major reviewers, which often ends in comical bouts of laughter. I appreciate people's reviews, but you sir are clearly not a food critique. I think if you intend to affect the public's perception, you should know your subjects a tad bit better. Experience the place a few times, try it for different meals, try the same dish twice, etc... This is true reporting (which is clearly dying quickly). I've wasted enough time.
It's ironic how little notice this review would have received if Joe had never responded the way he did. Now many NY food blogs are talking about it and linking to it. I never would have seen it if it weren't for Joe's rants.
Joe,
You are embarrassing your fellow Cornell Hotel School alumni (myself included) (class of '81)
For the frustrated English teachers out there: No one ever applied to Cornell's Hotel School because they were great writers and had excellent grammar, spelling and punctuation. It seems Joe didn't learn too much about Public Relations though.
Joe,
You are the first one to prove the theory wrong: "It doesn't matter what they write, as long as they write". You probably cost yourself significant business by your attitude.
Marc,
You are entitled to your opinion and to write about it on your own blog. Don't stop. People will either agree, disagree, or have no opinion. If you are good writer, and people like reading what you've written, you'll have more readers. If you suck at what you do, you'll be writing for yourself. (and that's ok too).
Hey Joe,
As a 30 year plus veteran and having witnessed just about every crazy incident and story ever told about the restaurant industry, I want to thank you for adding yet another really fantastic story of stupidity to the pantheon of my career.
I also want to offer my sincerest condolences and empathy because you are going to lose all of your hard work and every cent of cash you have put into DOJOE.
Nothing more to say other than please learn from your mistakes both in the kitchen and outside of it.
da Chef.
@Joshua - it's great you come to your friends' defense (And reasonable about it) but "J-named duo"?! are you an aspiring writer, too? in that case you should know the difference between "critique" (the act) and "critic" (the person providing the critique).
Marc may not be a PROFESSIONAL critic but he's one nevertheless, as defined by a popular dictionary: "one who expresses a reasoned opinion on any matter especially involving a judgment of its value, truth, righteousness, beauty, or technique"
Joe, sounds like you can't stand the heat. I think I'll show up at your restaurant some night and start sending stuff back to you even if it's cooked properly, you won't know which one I am. It's going to be HILARIOUS.
im getting a stiffy reading all this.